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Hongkies, Singaporeans,Indonesians And Malaysians

9 May 2008 | Malaysia |  22 comments
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Overview
An article about Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians.

Disclaimer Notice
Deimos did not author the following article that he received via an email forwarded to him. The following article is meant to be taken light heartedly and not too seriously.

Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians
Without further delay …

Being Hongkies is good because…
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5′ x 5′ cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place to for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.

We love being Singaporean because…
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia – keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything, anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not ending up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to spare.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl “Do you have CPF?”
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country – S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We’ll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit… nyek nyek nyek.
12. It’s OK to be Kiasu. It’s part of our culture.

Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow…
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries…
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or who’s next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so…
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing… nyek nyek nyek.
9. We don’t need fire fighters as our neighbors will provide …

Being a Malaysian is the best because…
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, because Malaysia Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the traffic police at the same time.
3. We divorce by sending SMS.
4. Traffic summon can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity b’coz our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or opposition parties or…
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street’s bulb and three others watching…
9. We make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back to 2 lane when polices are sighted
10. There’s always something for the JKR to do. They dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface…
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives Velooo a reason to collect toll.
12. Our government can never be wrong.
13. Our badminton players can only win on home grounds because we are kampung champions.
14. We have more water than Singapore … nyek nyek nyek.

After reading the above, I believe you will agree with me that being
Malaysian is still the best. You have to be glad that you are a Malaysian and enjoy staying in Malaysia!

Deimos’s Daily Reads
Have you seen anything like this before? Deimos certainly haven’t! Courtesy of Max.

Deimos’s Thoughts
Deimos did not understand the meaning of the first sentence in the Indonesians section. Though this is meant to be a funny article, many of the points highlighted are very valid and true.

Deimos Asks
Do you find the above article amusing?


22 Comments

  1. 9th May 2008 
    2:01 pm         

    Kitkat
    said the following:

    Wahaha… lucky I am a Malaysian! So proud of all the points for Malaysians!

  2. 9th May 2008 
    2:07 pm         

    Deimos Tel`Arin
    said the following:

    @Kitkat:
    Heh, Malaysian memang boleh eh? 😆

  3. 9th May 2008 
    2:38 pm         

    balidreamhome
    said the following:

    make sense… LOL…

  4. 9th May 2008 
    7:57 pm         

    dicky
    said the following:

    hey, you forgot to mention, you can easily score CGPA4.0 if you are lucky to enter “matrikulasi”, dunno i spell correct or not……

  5. 9th May 2008 
    8:04 pm         

    kljs
    said the following:

    I think the first one for the Indonesia is that because they are near to Australia or something like that…

    Look at Malaysia, got 14, others aren’t even close……. not including Singapore………

  6. 10th May 2008 
    2:17 am         

    bendz
    said the following:

    whats a kiasu?

  7. 10th May 2008 
    5:43 am         

    Michael Aulia
    said the following:

    Hehe I’m an Indonesian who lives in Australia. I’d rather be an Australian than an Indonesian oops 😀

    What’s a CPF? 😕

  8. 10th May 2008 
    8:06 am         

    lina
    said the following:

    I’m so proud to be Malaysian. Malaysia Boleh! So proud, my eyes water… hehehe

  9. 10th May 2008 
    11:58 am         

    Windows Tips
    said the following:

    Very interesting article…
    Thanks for sharing 😆

  10. 10th May 2008 
    1:24 pm         

    Kitkat
    said the following:

    Saturday ler… any place to go today? 😀

  11. 10th May 2008 
    8:33 pm         

    jeremy
    said the following:

    somehow i agree with you, though i’m at aus doing degree now.

  12. 10th May 2008 
    9:06 pm         

    Ederic
    said the following:

    Hmmm, how come there’s nothing about being a Filipino? Hehe.

    By the way, this is the first time I learned that Hong Kong residents are called , Hongkies. :p

  13. 10th May 2008 
    10:34 pm         

    kljs
    said the following:

    I think it’s not nice to call Hong Kong people Hongkies…or something like that…

  14. 11th May 2008 
    5:32 am         

    Steve Yu
    said the following:

    LOL! Malaysia Boleh! 😆

  15. 11th May 2008 
    4:58 pm         

    kljs
    said the following:

    actually, Malaysia should have more than just 14…….. 14 probably only scratching the surface…..

  16. 12th May 2008 
    3:56 pm         

    Apple
    said the following:

    That’s really amusing. The best thing about being a Malaysian (or staying in Malaysia) is — you can anyhow download unlimited movies and mp3s. 😛 oppps..

  17. 13th May 2008 
    12:31 pm         

    Vic
    said the following:

    “6. We can save a lot of electricity b’coz our TV shows are so crappy.”

    LOL! This one is so true…

  18. 13th May 2008 
    3:02 pm         

    Deimos Tel`Arin
    said the following:

    @balidreamhome:
    Make sense indeed. 😐

    =====================================================================

    @dicky:
    Sure or not? I also dunno how to spell that one correctly. 😀

    =====================================================================

    @kljs:
    It seems that this article strongly favors Malaysians! 😮

    =====================================================================

    @bendz:
    The word “kiasu” means “afraid to lose” basically. 🙂

    =====================================================================

    @Michael Aulia:
    I think CPF stands for Central Provident Fund. 😯

    =====================================================================

    @lina:
    Malaysia Boleh! 😎

    =====================================================================

    @Windows Tips:
    Sharing is caring. You are welcome. :mrgreen:

    =====================================================================

    @Kitkat:
    Stay and restat home, not going anywhere. 😈

    =====================================================================

    @jeremy:
    So you are a fellow Malaysian studying in Australia aye? 💡

    =====================================================================

    @Ederic:
    I think the author forget to mention Pinoys. 🙄

    =====================================================================

    @kljs:
    It is? I never knew that. You sure about that? 😕

    =====================================================================

    @Steve Yu:
    Hell yeah! Malaysian memang boleh! 😆

    =====================================================================

    @kljs:
    Perhaps these 14 are the more important and amusing ones. 💡

    =====================================================================

    @Apple:
    Thanks for TM Net’s streamyx, we have unlimited monthly bandwidth! 😛

    =====================================================================

    @Vic:
    Heck, I don’t watch the television shows anymore. No time! 😐

    =====================================================================

  19. 7th June 2008 
    10:39 am         

    Cah Kontes
    said the following:

    Hahaha.. 😆
    emang enak jadi orang Indonesia

  20. 7th June 2008 
    10:44 am         

    Deimos Tel`Arin
    said the following:

    @Cah Kontes:
    Jadi orang Malaysia paling baik yo! 😎

  21. 18th July 2011 
    12:13 pm         

    HCX
    said the following:

    Enakan jadi Indonesia.
    Kecuali sampai seperti ini >> “Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so…”

    LOL

  22. 18th June 2012 
    3:54 am         

    Panas
    said the following:

    Ederic, there is nothing for Pino because Marcoses took everything. Poor Pino, always left out.