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The Laws of Ultimate Reality

21 Jul 2008 | Miscellaneous |  8 comments
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Overview
Deimos does not feel like producing any original post today, instead he will share a joke that received from an email forward. May you all find it to be an amusing read.

Disclaimer Notice
Deimos did not author the following article.

The Laws of Ultimate Reality
Original author: Unknown

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and
you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines in a traffic lane, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath / Shower / Toilet
When the body is fully immersed in water or you are finally seated, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a gym locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/ rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick .

Pollies Law
Silence is not always golden, sometimes its just plain yellow.

Deimos’s Daily Reads
Fan of Rei of Neon Genesis Evangelion? Check out this swimsuit special, courtesy of Kenny.

Deimos’s Thoughts
Deimos has experienced the variation law many times before and finds it quite amazing that such laws exists yet unable to be proven scientifically.

Deimos Asks
Which of these laws have you experienced personally?


8 Comments

  1. 21st July 2008 
    10:08 pm         

    kljs
    said the following:

    Lol…. most of them I have encountered before!!!

  2. 21st July 2008 
    11:45 pm         

    Nicole Price
    said the following:

    These are inviolable rules of daily living. They will inevitably happen.

  3. 22nd July 2008 
    9:32 am         

    kljs
    said the following:

    Well, in Malaysia, we don’t make appointments to see doctors, we just go there……. unless it is a specialist…..

  4. 23rd July 2008 
    12:59 am         

    levian
    said the following:

    “As soon as you find a product that you really like,
    they will stop making it.”
    i completely experienced this weeks ago.
    n i .. still .. want that jigsaw puzzle !!
    👿

  5. 23rd July 2008 
    9:45 am         

    Vic
    said the following:

    “If you change lines in a traffic lane, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).”

    This is dang right!

  6. 23rd July 2008 
    7:12 pm         

    Nicole Price
    said the following:

    Try one more: When you finalize all your travel arrangements for a holiday, your mother in law will announce her visit to you!

  7. 26th July 2008 
    10:08 pm         

    elezend
    said the following:

    I hate the part bout traffic jam too cause it happens to me all the time 😡 😡 😡

  8. 31st July 2008 
    5:28 am         

    Del Mar Tips
    said the following:

    LOL this is a great post. So true!

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